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Entered By: Paula
Entry Date: 2007-01-31 18:10:51
Subject: Wednesday January 31, 2007

Today I cried out to God for help, well I guess I do everyay!  But today I was desparate.  Arnol had a meltdown at school in the first 30 minutes.  His teacher came to class to get me and to tell me the problems they have been having with Arnol (all in Espanol of course).  Arnol is generally a happy go lucky, mischevious, kid.  He is pretty obedient and very smart.  The problem comes in when he receives correction, or someone hurts him (usually after he antagonizes).  He starts crying, and you canīt get him to stop, like could be an hour or two.  Well that happened in school.  Whew, rough time!  When we first came it happened about every day, now we are down to about 1 time every week or two.  It is so hard to know exactly how to handle the problem. We have run the gammet.  We have held, been tough, left him to cry it out, sent him to bed, etc.  When in a school setting it is really difficult.  There is no talking him out of it.  I just sat and asked God for help while he sat and cried his eyeballs out.  An hour or so later he was able to return to class.   So then it was off to teach English class for 4 grades.  I was flying solo teacher today.  I will be helping by letting the regular teacher have a break on Wednesdays.  I am reading Teaching Through Movement to glean wisdom on teaching a 2nd. language using movement.   After English class I learned that Reynaldo had gotten into trouble.  He is having a time with planting a kiss on those he likes. When he was confronted he fell apart.  It is a problem that his teacher had told us about before and have dealt with.  At home we watch him like a hawk, fortunately he isnīt too fond of his brothers!  Timmy is just so bossy you know!  He was so terrified that I would reject him when I found out.  He cried out, ĻNo Tia, No Tia.Ļ It wasnīt because I deal out harsh punishment, but from fear that he will not be loved anymore.  His little sense of belonging and esteem and just crippled.    He cried and cried and I held and held him.  Ohh my heart can be so broken.   People say to us that they donīt see how we can have a home with the number of boys we have with such deep emotional issues.  Yes, we would love for other people to come and serve as parents to these precious children.  We would love for them to be placed in a family, all by themselves, so that they can receive just a ton of love and attention.  But, we are who is here, we are what God has provided for now.  Many feel these particular boys should be sent back to IHNFA and will probably never to able to "enter society" because of their problems.  I feel so differently.  Yes, they are so wounded, and I know I canīt imagine what will have to be dealt with from day to day.  But oh my goodness they are so mighty.  They are so smart.  Yes, everyday I think, maybe we canīt do this, and everyday we get up and God provides the strength, the mercy, the patience,the solutions and the love for another day.  No one is left out.  Everyday I see my 4 children reach out to show love and share and grow.  Everyday I see my children learning so much, seeing Godīs hand move in everything they put their hand too.  Everyday my children see that we are helpless without Him.  Everyday He says Ļ"feed my sheep".  Everyday He reminds me of what He has taught me over the years, how he has met me over the years, how He has loved me over the years.  So everyday we continue not in our own strength, that was gone long ago, but with Him.  Everyday we learn to trust in Him, to listen for His direction, and to give the life He has so freely given us.   Thank you for letting me share! Paula
Replies to this message
re: Wednesday January 31, 2007  by Sherry Barnes on Friday February 02, 2007

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